Fernanda.

Had the strangest day the other day. Some random portugese woman in Broadway ordered Marlena and I about to do her chores/errands, because she was really sick. And she was an odd old thing, repeated herself a lot, asked personal questions like "Have you had sex with your boyfriend?" and "Have your parents split up? Because it would be funny if they had split up and they still had sex." I assured her that Yes, I was still a Virgin, Thankyou Very Much, and No, my Parents Were Not Divorced and even If They Were Having Sex, it's Not Something I want to be Mentally Pursuing. But obviously in a less extravagant way, considering she was portugese and her accent was as thick as the layer of grease on their chicken.

She insisted I come over again to her house and help clean it, and I gave her my numbers and I was off. She has a strangely addictive personality and a very funny way of expressing herself. Her flat was very dull and had very little decoration, so I thought I'd probably bring something over next time, to brighten it up a bit. Next time I went over, I brought Paddy, so she could meet the "man behind the legend". Too bad the "legend", so to speak, was a brief 5 second topic in the middle of the Kitchenware section in K-mart. (We went for plates, and ended up buying blue mugs, heck I don't know...)

Anyway, Paddy and I spent at least 2 hours in her house cleaning the entire floor, and I mean, moving the couches and everything, to mop and to broom and all that. Thank goodness everything was linoleum, and none of this carpet BS. She said next time, we could clean her windows, and I think I will. Next time I go that is. The thing is, you'd think I'd be doing this for money, or for that feeling of good morality and stable ethics, yeah yeah, we all know the ideal child, helping the old woman cross the road. Too bad she tried to help us cross the road, and basically ran into oncoming traffic, considering I was potentially responsible for her, I was practically tugging her back and screaming "Are you clinically insane?!" at the top of my lungs. She just laughs every time I freak out, and says "Cahlm dowen luhve, luhve, it iz zalright. My frriend Gustav and I, we do zis all da time!" And I'm thinking Dude, she is some crack granny on PCP. I don't know how her daughter or son manages.

But unfortunately, my parents have forbidden me from seeing her. Just like they do with everyone else. *ahem* ==' But that's okay. Because I'm just going to go on Tuesdays, and visit her. See how she is. Possibly clean more things. I think I'll get a little gift each time too. Make her apartment nice. She's like a little interesting secret thing. That I get to have. It's the one part of my life where I don't have to worry about doing anything wrong, or other people knowing exactly where I am, or who I'm with. I sort of just go into this unfamiliar territory. And I like it. It's like I don't exist. Anyway, just a thought.